Betrayal

In the Details, Part Two

If you missed the first installment of this series, please go back and read it here.  As I stated before, I am doing this series at the request of a friend who requested my exegetical assistance.  I’m always happy to oblige.

The passage in question this time is as follows:

You shall also have a place outside the camp and go out there, and you shall have a spade among your tools, and it shall be when you sit down outside, you shall dig with it and shall turn to cover up your excrement.
~Deuteronomy 23:12-13

An easy, modern paraphrase would be this: “Don’t think your *bleep* don’t stink.”  However, this message is couched in much more biblical terms, in keeping with its context.  The point is, keep that stuff covered.  Everybody poops, but no one wants to see it or smell it.  So, if you’re camping, bury your poo out of respect for all.  If you’re not camping, FLUSH!  And turn around to see whether a double-flush may be necessary.

You’re welcome.

Good Morning, 27

Yep, you read that correctly.  I have officially exited my mid-twenties.  And I am every bit as excited this year as I was last year.

Reflecting on the last twelve months, things have been interesting.  A year ago today, I was substitute teaching because I couldn’t get a job, and I had to work part time at a bridal store to supplement my meager income.  To top off those two things that made me miserable, we hadn’t yet found a church.  Which meant I didn’t really have any friends.  Which meant I was one very sad puppy whose only friends lived in her computer.

And I had to learn to trust God.

I was right when I said 26 is good.  It was good.  It didn’t always feel good, but it was good.  I now have the most amazing students in the world, I have an awesome church, and I have some wonderful new friends.  But, that’s not the real reason that 26 was good.  The real reason 26 was good is because my God is good.  And He showed me His goodness through my tears.

And now I say good morning to 27.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me!

High School Hero

Okay, I’m way sleepy on a Wednesday night, and I can’t muster an original post for the second night in a row.  Lame, I know.  What may be even more lame is that the video I want to share with you, I already posted on my Facebook.  So, if we’re FB friends, you may have already watched it.  Well, tough toenails!  It’s a good video, and I think you’ll like it.  Even twice.

In the Details, Part One

A dear friend requested a little Angela-wisdom concerning a few passages of Scripture.  I am more than happy to oblige, as I realize how difficult it is for most people to understand the deep, spiritual implications of seemingly random bits of detailed information.  Amanda, apparently, is no different from most of you in feeling absolutely stumped.  Never fear!  I have no trouble with these things.  Onward to Scripture #1!

The passage in question:

All the winged insects that walk on all fours are detestable to you. Yet these you may eat among all the winged insects which walk on all fours: those which have above their feet jointed legs with which to jump on the earth.  These of them you may eat: the locust in its kinds, and the devastating locust in its kinds, and the cricket in its kinds, and the grasshopper in its kinds. But all other winged insects which are four-footed are detestable to you.
~Leviticus 11:20-23

First of all, this is an incredibly startling passage to those of us who find all winged insects detestable, regardless of appendages.  However, we must remember that God’s ancient peoples did not have the luxury of Chick-fil-A, nor did they have an H-E-B at every major intersection.  They had to kill for their food, people, and they didn’t even have guns.  Sometimes you get in a hurry.  The busy-ness of the day catches up to you, and dinner-time looks you straight in the face, reminding you that you’ve run out of time to take down a wild animal, skin it, cut it up into manageable pieces, and make something tasty out of it.  Put simply, bugs were the original fast food.

But, you can’t just go around eating wingy four-footed bugs all willy-nilly.  Only locusts (presumably the non-devastating kind), devastating locusts, crickets, and grasshoppers are acceptable.  That must mean that all other wingy four-foots are evil.  That begs the question: “What makes locusts, devastating locusts, crickets, and grasshoppers holy?”

I’m glad you asked.  Did you notice the bit about having jointed legs?  This is important, but I bet many of you skimmed over it.  Not having joints in your legs is just one step away from having no legs at all.  Well, we all know what doesn’t have legs: the satan serpent.  What could be more evil?  So, we’re keeping our distance, just in case.

And why specifically are we only allowed the locust, the devastating locusts, the crickets, and the grasshoppers?  It’s obvious.  Locusts and grasshoppers are very clean little bugs.  They eat healthy things.  You eat them, you eat healthy.  Now, what about the scavenging little cricket, you ask?

It’s just so God can laugh at you for eating something gross.  It’s one of His many pranks, and you can bet there’s an epic three-way high-five every time someone eats a cricket.

It’s Not Possible to be Too Proud…

At least not when Texas is involved!  ;)   (Sorry I don’t have a real post today.  I’m feeling sickly, and I’m praying it’s not the pigs!)

Unbelievable

I Am the Fastest!

I got a speeding ticket in Austin recently and had to go to defensive driving last week to keep it off of my record.  Of course, I chose the comedy version to make the six hours go by more quickly.  To be honest, it wasn’t incredibly funny at all, but it was obvious from the videos that they thought we were teen drivers in the early 1990s.  There was even a video, wholly unrelated to driving, that kept lecturing us about teen drug use and how we just don’t understand when we’re teenagers that one drink or one joint can turn into a life-sucking addiction that robs you of your hopes and dreams.

The median age in the room was probably between 35 and 40.  (One guy was 80!  And he admitted to the class that he SHAVED IN THE CAR on the way to driving class!  Lord, help us.)

…

At one point, the “comedian” asked us to raise our hands if we hate it when others pass us on the road.  After most of us raised our hands, he laughed and called on one young guy to explain why.  “I don’t know.  I just don’t like it.  I wanna be the fastest, so I’ll keep speeding up to make sure I am.”

Everyone laughed at his youth, but I had a eureka moment!  That’s exactly it!  I want to pass everyone and make sure no one passes me.  I will be the fastest!  (That’s not entirely true, because I will let the crazies and the motorcycle guys go on past to die under someone else’s wheels.)  But, my fellow speeder’s assessment, ridiculous as it was, completely described me.

I have a problem; I am personally offended when people pass me. 

Not anymore!  The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  Now, after doing my time at the comedic driving class, I am completely reformed. 

I will NOT speed.  I will be the picture of defensive driving.

MY LETTER WORKED!!!!!

He must have caught wind of my letter a year ago, because HE’S BACK!  With open arms, we welcome you back home.  We forgive you and we love you!

It’s Going to SPACE!

If you’ve had any long conversations with me in the last year or two, you may have heard about my unusual and increasing desire to go live in a crappy place for a time (not a very long time – a week or a month or so will do fine).  Much of this desire is due to a deepening personal conviction about people groups in the world who truly need and want the Gospel.  This, in conjunction with my utter uselessness in global evangelism, makes me want to go live in a jungle hut or something.  That’s most of the reason, anyway.

Part of it is also the fact that I am really sick of spoiled Americans, and this disdain absolutely includes myself.  I’m an air conditioner baby, and, if I’m honest with myself, I must admit that I really hold a deep affection for indoor plumbing.  You might say I feel entitled to it.

A feeling of entitlement is something I battle daily.  I am not entitled to that particular lane or parking spot.  I am not entitled to a “thank you” after a common courtesy.  I am not entitled to a job or a home.  I am not entitled to a single thing – be it equal rights or a spot in Heaven.  But, you wouldn’t know that I am aware of these things by the way I act sometimes. 

If you’re expecting some amazingly inspiring words after that setup, I’m sorry to disappoint.  I really decided to write this brief, conclusionless post because of the video below.  I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it makes you think between chuckles.