I’m reading a new book, If God Were Real by John Avant. It’s not deeply philosophical or theological, and it’s a pretty easy read. I was actually slightly hesitant about it, because I think a lot of “Christian” books are a load of crap mass-marketed to pay for someone’s posh lifestyle… [But this book] was written by a pastor who has witnessed a deep sickness in the American church. His premise is very obvious from his title — if God were real, or if we really believed he were real, our lives and our churches would be radically different. It’s not that profound, really; it’s completely obvious. But, he’s saying the types of things about the institution of Christianity that Jesus said about the Pharisees and priests. They didn’t want to hear it then, and no one wants to hear it now. He’s asking all the right questions — salvation-issue questions — but does it matter? Will American “Christians” listen? Will I listen? What can I do to really be different? What am I doing? I want desperately to not waste my life. I want to be a radical follower of Jesus. But, what does that even look like in postmodern America? I guess I’m currently on this quest to be a true follower. Not a “good” Christian or an “upstanding” citizen, but a sold-out, I don’t care if I lose my job or home over it, eternal-perspective-seeing, desperately-loving follower of Jesus of Nazareth. I mean, shouldn’t true believers be a little subversive? Shouldn’t we be dangerous? Peter and Paul were dangerous, and I don’t think their cultural setting is much different from ours. We’re too comfortable. The tragic thing is, the road to hell is a joyful, comfortable one. My level of comfort is causing me to question my sincerity and my level of usefulness. I want desperately to be useful. I don’t want to live and die for a country, for a religious institution, for a way of life. I want to live and die for the Creator, Savior, and Sustainer. Anything less is a waste of my soul. Oh, Father, teach me!
John 1:35-42 (Andrew and Simon Peter)
–I know it’s overused as an illustration, but I love Andrew and Peter’s obedience. And Andrew’s immediate response was to bring his brother to Christ. Why am I not so obedient?
John 1:43-51 (Philip and Nathanael)
–I think it’s beautiful that, even though Jesus’ time had not yet come, He’s revealing His divinity in personal ways, and then He promises greater things.
John 2:1-12 (Miracle at Cana)
–I’ve never thought of this miracle in this way before, but I wonder if anyone uses it as proof that Christ cares about ordinary, earthly things. I mean, the argument could be made that a wedding feast running out of wine has no eternal — or even lasting earthly — implications. But, Jesus was sensitive to the needs, priorities, and feelings of the people at the moment, and fulfilled their immediate desire as a gesture of love. That could be. However, I’m struck by the underlying messages here. He had servants fill giant jugs full of water and serve it to the headwaiter. As the unsuspecting man scurried off to praise the groom for his generosity in serving the best wine, the lowly servants were undoubtedly left totally dumbstruck. While “saving the day” out of the kindness of His heart may have been a byproduct of this miracle, I don’t believe it could be His primary focus. Of course, He was displaying His deity first and foremost. But He also seems to be setting the tone for His entire ministry, in which He will choose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise — in which He will reveal hidden things to the lowly and keep them from the rich and powerful. How sneaky! (In a good, thought-provoking way.)
John 2:13-25 (Moneychangers in the Temple)
–I love this. I love it because it shows Yeshua angry — really angry. He was so angry, He got physical. Hemadeawhip! I mean, this wasn’t just a sudden burst of rage in which He “lost His head” and threw a fit. I wonder how long it takes to make a whip out of cords. There’s probably braiding, cutting, and tying involved. He had time for His blood pressure to go down, as He had to focus His fine motor skills to fashion a weapon. So, this wasn’t just an impulsive temper tantrum — He, as Holy God, was personally offended that these religious persons would turn a sacred place of worship into a money-making business center. I think this event teaches us two things: God does not overlook the things we overlook, and God is not “understanding” of our selfish belittlement of His holiness. God is fierce.
John 4:46-54 (Boy in Capernaum Healed)
–The reason for everything is that God would receive glory, and that some might be saved.
What does it mean to work out your salvation with fear and trembling? It seems that it’s not an easy thing, or there wouldn’t be fear and trembling! I’m becoming more and more convinced that while we can do nothing in ourselves to become saved, it probably isn’t as easy a deal as people try to make it. The “repeat after me” prayer probably doesn’t often cut it. It’s weird… it’s nothing we can work for or earn, so the message is that it’s easy and all you have to do is believe. But, even the demons believe – they’re certainly not saved! And many who think they’re saved will be turned away in the day of judgement. And the path is narrow and few find it. And God endured vessels prepared for destruction for His glory. It seems to me that the predestination camp is really on to something AND that we aren’t even close to having anything figured out. Perhaps salvation isn’t simple at all if Paul tells us to work it out in fear and trembling. None of that sounds easy, or highly enjoyable, and it’s really frustratingly imprecise. Work it out how? What’s to work out? I thought we weren’t saved as a result of anything we’ve done. Perhaps it just means to try and understand or appreciate it. I don’t know. But fear and trembling don’t sound pleasant. In my estimation, however, we really do need a healthy dose of terror when thinking of the Lord and His power. The Church plays the “God is love” card too often and fails to explain love or what else God is. God is reallyterrifying.
“Leave vain things to vain people, and give your attention to those things that God asks of you. Go into your room, shut your door, and call upon Jesus, your Beloved. Stay with Him in the privacy of your own room, for you will not find such peace anywhere else.” ~Thomas à Kempis
I see the verse I copied a month ago and it still rings untrue. However, I do feel that the Spirit is leading me more outside myself. Between Voice of the Martyrs, my refugee kids at [school], Under the Overpass, and repeated truths from His Word, I’m becoming more disgusted with myself and more concerned about those without. I really want to learn Spanish and head south. I want to get out of America and have to rely solely on Him. I want to see how others live instead of just hearing about it. I want to really make a difference. Yeshua, guide my steps. Send me. Make me willing.
I know it may seem disjointed to someone who is not in my head. However, all of it ties together quite terribly for me and God: I don’t take Him or His message seriously. If I did, my life would be much different. I fear I am no closer to true discipleship or true service than I was in the above entries.
In future posts, I plan to expound on my thoughts and convictions. This is meant to be an introduction to some things I’ve been trying desperately to ignore.
I’m going to preface this by conceding that I do not have the answer on this one. I also concede that a certain school of thought may have the upper hand due to a few controversial verses printed in black and white. If those words are taken at face value, then there’s no argument for women teaching in the church. None.
But, what if they’re not taken at face value? What if we stop and really ponder the intent of those verses? Although Bernice is a little crazy, she makes a couple of really good points. (Start around 4:30.)
I have always been taught precisely what Bernice is arguing. (Deacon does actually mean servant, regardless of the sex of the deacon. It depends which version you use as to whether Romans 16 calls Phoebe a servant, a leader, or a deacon. But it’s all the same word. And Paul does seem to be in approval of her service.) Basically, Paul was referring to a few unruly women in a Corinthian church that looked a little too pagan. It wasn’t meant to be a general doctrine for all churches everywhere. That’s what I was taught, anyway, in Southern Baptist churches.
That being said, there are still varying degrees of support for these verses (listed below). Should women literally remain silent? Absolutely no speaking, no questioning, no praying? Or can she teach as long as she’s teaching children or women only? But, there she goes speaking again. Paul clearly used the word “silent.” Does teaching a Sunday School class put you in authority over those you are teaching? If so, and if women are allowed to teach children, at what point is a boy a man? Do we go Jewish and say 13? What about driving age at 16? Smoking age? Drinking age? Or maybe the age that guys’ insurance goes down (finally)? Where’s the line? Perhaps we should be safe and keep our mouths shut.
It seems like it really needs to be an all or nothing deal. I’ll lay it out there and say where I presently stand:
I am not comfortable with women being lead pastors. I am wishy-washy about women deacons and ministers, although it wouldn’t cause me to leave a church one way or the other. I am totally fine with women leading Bible Study classes and other functions in the church, regardless of the sex or age of those “under” her.
But, that’s wrong. My personal level of comfort does not dictate right and wrong and it is certainly unreliable when interpreting Scripture. My opinion, although based in Scripture, is dependent upon interpretations that I’ve been taught as well as in the church culture to which I’m accustomed.
And my opinion is really irrelevant. Either women can speak, lead, and teach, or they cannot. Honestly. Paul doesn’t seem to give much leeway here:
The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says. If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church. ~1 Corinthians 14:34-35
A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. ~1 Timothy 2:11-12
So, was Paul speaking to a specific problem in a specific church within a specific culture, or was he speaking to all women in the Church for all time? If so, then shouldn’t we also be wearing veils at church? We shouldn’t be picking and choosing which instructions from Paul to obey.
And what then shall we do with Miriam (Exodus 15, Numbers 12), Deborah (Judges 4-5), Huldah (2 Kings 22), Anna (Luke 2), Tabitha (Acts 9), Euodia and Syntyche (Philippians 4), and Phoebe and Priscilla (Romans 16)?
I don’t know. But I’m uncomfortable with either extreme, to be honest. What do you think?
“Don’t be hasty; you have eternity to write your story.”
I put it in quotes because I feel like God said it. I have started my story so many times and then stopped, at a loss. I feel like God told me today that I truly have eternity – not “an” eternity, because that tiny article imposes a subtle finity to the word – but eternity to write. Even if I don’t get it out before I die, who would be bored with a story of God’s glory on the New Earth? So – no rush. I need to get it right and waiting is part of that.
“Over his writing desk Franz Kafka had one word, ‘Wait.’ … Writers fear this delay, for they can name colleagues who have made a career of delay, whose great unwritten books will never be written, but, somehow, those writers who write must have the faith to sustain themselves through the necessity of delay.” ~Donald Murray, College Composition and Communication, NCTE 1978
~Maranatha
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July 17, 2009
“The Mouse Moral:
Knowing in part may make a fine tale, but wisdom comes from seeing the whole.” ~White Mouse, Seven Blind Mice, by Ed Young
Yet another thing I pulled from my workshop. But journal, have I even told you about this experience? I’ve been so busy experiencing it. Soon – I’m in class now.
~Maranatha
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July 18, 2009
I am four days behind in my daily Bible. God has been speaking to me in different ways this past week and it’s been pretty overwhelming. He’s spoken to me through children’s books, graduate textbooks, and strangers. And friends! Can’t forget Amanda’s “don’t be hasty.” I even got a revelation in the car. I have neglected my daily reading, but God has not been silent. God has been encouraging and kind and gentle and bold. I am to tell my story, but I’m to trust the delay. Even though it’s all inside of me, it’s not ready. It may not be ready before my death, but that doesn’t matter. I have eternity. I can’t force what’s not ready. But I can embrace and cherish every inspiration. I wrote the opening to my book (again) last week. I started from scratch, though, and it was so much better than my previous attempts. I can actually say that I think it’s publishable. I can actually call myself a writer. I’ve said before that I like to write and that I want to write, but I’ve never called myself a writer. But, I am. Just because I am not published does not mean I am not a writer. I don’t have to see my name on the binding of a book to validate my purpose. The God of the universe just validated it last week! I’m still in shock.
Have you ever been having a seemingly intelligent conversation with a seemingly intelligent person when they suddenly begin recounting a time in which they were “conversating” with another individual?
Or have you ever heard that someone’s dress or suit needed to be “alterated”?
Or has someone told you that it took a while for them to get “orientated” in a new position or situation?
→STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!←
It is so incredibly difficult for me to be gracious when people misspeak so ridiculously. I want to mock you like urbandictionary.com does, but I’m too nice… Too nice, even, to give you a link to the definition on urbandictionary.com. But, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t rage bubbling inside of me.
~~~
You know what else really sticks in my craw (whatever that is)? Faulty fortune cookies. After satiating my hunger with tasty Asian fare, I fully enjoy the obligatory fortune cookie that most Asian eating establishments offer. What I do not enjoy, however, is the fact that 93.2% of the time, the cookie does not contain a fortune.
Telling me that my friends value my honesty or suggesting that I surprise someone with flowers is NOT a fortune! There I sit, with bated breath, crumbling apart the cookie that claims to hold the keys to the future and what do I get? A useless statement about my character or a general instruction about life!
Oh, fortune cookie makers, I’m on to your cowardly cop-out. If you refuse to tell me the future, then you need to re-name your cookies “Suggestion Cookies” or “Compliment Cookies.” The repeated let-down is just too much to endure.
~~~
Recently, as my husband and I were walking into church, I looked down at my feet and started laughing. I was wearing long jeans that flare a little at the bottom with cute little brown flats. My toes and ankles were covered while the tops of my feet peeked out.
I was laughing because I was so white it almost looked like I was wearing socks. I made a comment to that effect when my husband looked at me and said, “I seriously thought you were.”
I just finished a book that took a ridiculous amount of time to read. The book itself had little to do with the time frame; I honestly have just been focused on some other things recently. Anyway, the book is The God Who Smokes by Timothy J. Stoner. Don’t feel bad for laughing at the irony of the author’s name; he does the same thing himself!
I have few complaints, so I’ll just jump into the good stuff! There were two major things that stuck out to me more than anything else in the book. First, he asks some really big questions. Second, he really does a phenomenal job of helping us to look upward.
~~~~~
If we are artists…, we ask:
Does our work build up or tear down?
Does it provide hope or steal it?
Does it point to joy or to despair?
Does it reflect the world merely as it is or as it is intended?
Does it contain life or death?
Does it evoke a desire for God or a world-weary disillusionment?
Does it sing, or is it simply banal and monochromatic?
Does it call forth a desire for the good?
And this is very big: At heart, is it sacramental?
…
This then is what we must ask: Does the material, the quality, the intention of our art contain and point toward the transcendent: to truth, reality, beauty, to the One who inhabits eternity? Does it indicate, if ever so slightly, the way to true north? Does it evoke longing for our “home”? Does it reveal some facet of what is substantial, true, beautiful, noble, enriching, and holy? Does it…exert a gravitational pull upward — does it glorify God?¹
I found this to be one of the most challenging portions of the entire book. To really ask if my art — my calling, my passion, my life — does all those things? I can’t even begin to answer. Wait – that’s a lie. I’m pretty sure my honest answer would be some very vague variation of “no” with shades of qualifications.
~~~~~
The last chapter of the book is, in my opinion, the best. I feel it is the best because it beckons our gazes and our hearts upward, to our true Home. It reminds us that we should not be surprised or dismayed at our current dissatisfaction; rather, we should realize that it’s because we were meant for something more.
Like Cupid’s arrows, God sends shafts to pierce and to wound us. God is no sadist. He is speaking and wooing and reminding. And He will hurt us if He needs to…
Sometimes He takes away in order to point the way and sometimes He stabs by giving. Either way He wants us to pine for what is not here but there, in Him.
…
When these arrows find their mark, your throat and chest constrict and your heart burns and you suddenly want to cry.
What you are feeling is yearning.
It is deeper and richer and larger than the sexual. It is a craving for something you can’t express, for something you’ve never really known, although it feels almost nostalgic. Sometimes you confuse it for nostalgia, but it really is not that, or if partly that, it is much more than that. It is a slow and secret and almost timid desire. It is a hunger of the heart that is somehow filled with twinges of joy and sorrow all wrapped up together. You don’t ever want it to end, but you can’t imagine surviving for long if it didn’t.
Oh my Yeshua, thank you for giving this writer a few words that actually begin to describe it! Beautiful.
~~~~~
Overall, I recommend the book. I’m a fanatic about grammar and syntax and it appears that the author is not, so that was a pet peeve in this book. If you read for content like most people, you’ll be fine. Sometimes, I also got annoyed at a bit of repetition. But mostly, I enjoyed his unique perspective and his creative imagery. Good book.
~~~~~
1Timothy J. Stoner, The God Who Smokes (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2008), 183-184.
The other day, I was tutoring an 8th grader on his English homework. He was analyzing “Paul Revere’s Ride” and he tried to throw in a quote in his analysis that he found in his book. I immediately recognized it and said, “You can’t use that quote; it’s from ‘A Psalm of Life,’ not ‘Paul Revere’s Ride.’” He looked at me and wondered how in the world I knew that…I got major points for being smart! The reality of it was that, as he read the quote, I reeled backward in time to reciting a poem outside the door of my 8th grade English classroom for a grade. That was the poem I chose to memorize! It’s an awesome poem. I started reciting bits that I remembered in my head and I told the other teacher in the room that it was sogoing in my blog! I hope you enjoy it.
A PSALM OF LIFE
WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN
SAID TO THE PSALMIST
TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !
Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o’erhead !
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
(Of course you can pick apart the theology. But try to take it for the good messages, because there are several!)
In the spirit of my suggestion at the end of Thursday’s post, I wanted to share with you one of my favorite books. I recently finished reading Piper’s Desiring God. Whew! What a spiritual and intellectual workout! While I wholeheartedly recommend the book, I do so with caution. This is not a leisurely read! It took me over two months to finish the book… and I’m still not done! It’s one of those that left me feeling like, “Wow – that was awesome. But, I need to read it again.” I’m not going to completely read it again, but I do plan to go back and review what I marked during my initial reading. If you have any desire for all-surpassing joy, then I recommend this book. (The Bible first, then this book. )
As I rehash some of Piper’s major points, I will probably be sharing them on my blog. I don’t know how often or how much, but I’m pretty sure I will. It was hard NOT to blog about it as I read it, but I wanted to get a total picture before I started spouting off my own pseudo-theology when I had no idea what I was talking about. I also don’t really want to just parrot Piper, either. I will probably be highlighting some of his major points and giving my own thoughts about it all. I don’t know yet. Point being: I didn’t want to start talking about it without telling you that I may be starting to talk about it.
In the meantime, I have a Question for discussion: When you hear the term “Christian Hedonism,” what’s your gut reaction?
Rules for responding to the question:
If you’ve already read the book, share your gut reaction the first time you heard the term.
Do not Google what it means! Use your head and tell me what you think.
Don’t give me Piper’s definition or his defense of his term. That hearkens back to rule #1!
This is a MySpace Blog remix. I posted this on MySpace before I had an independent blog and I got ZERO replies. That was disheartening. I didn’t know if it meant that no one was reading it, that people thought I was crazy, or that I was just such a deep thinker no one could keep up. (It’s probably the last one, but I’m just throwing out ideas to demonstrate how humble I am.)
Anyway, in my new Chronological Bible, I have just read the Creation story again. The same old thoughts popped into my head just like last January, so I thought I’d throw it out there again. It’s kind of a stream-of-consciousness rambling on, but I’m leaving it as it was because it shows my thought progression. Let me know what you think.
…
I just had this weird thought that I can’t really get out of my head. You’re gonna have to just go with me on this one, even if you don’t believe the Adam and Eve story. (There’s no theory that is any better proven, anyway, so even if you think it’s silly, humor me.)
Anyway, you’re probably familiar with the story. They’re in paradise and are instructed not to eat fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but they do, thereby introducing sin into the world. Okay. So. What if Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit, but Adam did not? Would Adam be stuck in the garden and Eve banished? Would God have created a new helper for Adam, or would he (Adam) just live forever in Eden with a bunch of animals? Would he feel lonely, or completely filled because he’s in communion with God? How would he remember Eve? He couldn’t think she was stupid or resent her for her choice; that would be sin. What if he chose never to disobey God?
If he continued to eat from the tree of life (ensuring that he would not die) and continued in this sinless existence, what would his personality be like? What would his brain look like? Would he age or change at all? Would he have knowledge of sexuality? Surely he’d observe the animals. There’s no evidence that he “knew” Eve before the fall (which probably accounts for the idea that sex is sinful), but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t or that he didn’t know about it. God instructed Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” before the fall, so unless there was another method…
What if, in this scenario, he did sleep with her, impregnated her, went with her to talk to the snake, and then declined the offer of fruit after Eve tasted it? She’s banished and he’s not. What about the baby, born outside of Eden? Not conceived in sin, but born of a sinful woman. So, is he like Adam (innocent) or like Eve? If he’s like the first, can he waltz into the garden that’s guarded by flames and angels? And can Adam go in and out? If Adam can, and if the world outside the garden progresses much as we have known it to in history, doesn’t Adam gain a knowledge of good and evil simply by observing atrocities for millenia? Or can he just not comprehend it? It seems like his people would explain it to him. Or would it be somehow hidden from him? Seeing but not perceiving? To the pure all things are pure?
But he would have to realize, even if he never left the garden, that Eve disobeyed God and received consequences. Adam obeyed and enjoyed privileges. So just witnessing that, even if he never left the garden, would give him some knowledge of good and evil. Unless God wiped it from his memory. But Eve would remember and it would be such a strange, mystical thing people talked about. There’s this millions-of-years-old guy who’s in a secret garden who doesn’t know he should hide his privates. Weird.
I just finished a book that took a ridiculous amount of time to read. The book itself had little to do with the time frame; I honestly have just been focused on some other things recently. Anyway, the book is 
In the spirit of my suggestion at the end of 
) 
