Had the Sickies

It all started last Thursday.  I woke up with a sore throat, but I didn’t think it was any big deal.  Unfortunately, my condition rapidly declined as the minutes ticked by.  It was obvious before first period was halfway through that I would probably need to go home.  At the beginning of third, I plopped myself down in front of the sub coordinator and just looked at her.  Being the totally awesome person she is, she took care of it for me!  I had a sub by 11:45.

By 12:15, I was haphazardly strewn across the bed and pitifully asking Justin to make me soup and an apple juice.  Then, I slept for the next two days, interrupted often by uncontrollable chills and trips to the refrigerator for more apple juice.  It was awful.  It might have been the pigs; I don’t know.  It was just awful.

Besides the agony, one of the worst things about the whole situation was the heartless quarantine!  My husband was so determined to not get sick that I was completely isolated.

Let’s just get down to business.  I’ve done the whole “love-language” deal, and I’m the cuddler.  For four agonizing days, my husband flatly refused to come near me, much less to hug me!  It was horrific and heart-breaking.  I was so lonely!  I kept trying to sneak-attack hug him, but he was shifty!  Even a little toe-hug was met with icy stares and rebuke.

I tried to cuddle Spooky, and it worked well sometimes.  But anytime I got into a coughing fit, he’d bite me.

In all, I’m happy to report that those days are over!  I’m whole and healed, and I got a hug yesterday!  But Mrs. Hopper, don’t worry; I will take the high road and save you from potentially feeling like a bad friend or a bad mommy.  I’ll keep my distance from the little one tonight, and I’ll just make faces at him from across the room.  :)  But next week — it’s on!  That baby better be awake and ready to play!

Friendship Fridays

Mi gato es mi mejor amigo.

Yes, he has fur.
No, he doesn’t speak English.
(Or Spanish.)

He and I?
Two peas in a pod, anyway.

He gets me.

A Very Special Day!

Today is July 6, 2009.  Do you know what that means?!  It has been 7 years since I went on my very first date with Justin AND it’s been 7 years since my baby kitty was born!  Because these two things happened at the same time, I knew right away that Justin and I were meant to be!  (But, I didn’t tell him for at least a week or two.)

I can’t believe Justin and I have been together since 2002.  (I was such a baby – only 19!)  It’s weird because, in some ways, it feels like it couldn’t have possibly been that long.  But, then again, I can’t even imagine what life was like before him!  He is truly the love of my life and I constantly thank God for him.  I love you, Husband!

~*~*~

And I can’t believe my baby kitty is already 7!  Isn’t he cute?!

To Mr. Squirroon

[So, if you're my friend on Facebook, you likely noticed my endless raccoon/squirrel play-by-play on my status recently.  To those of you (Lalena) who may still be worried about the squirroon stuck in my chimney, I dedicate this post.]

~~~~

Dear Mr. Squirroon,

It has been nearly a week since I awoke, startled and confused, to your antics.  At first, it seemed that my neighbors were moving very loud, metal things in the breezeway at five o’clock in the morning.  As the grogginess wore off and I caught sight of my cat crouched by the fireplace and twitching his tail, I realized that the raucus was actually coming from inside my chimney! 

I have never heard such a racket.  I just knew you were that giant raccoon who somehow made his way onto our third story balcony recently only to peer into our sliding glass door and size us up.  If you could make it to the third floor, you could make it to the roof, and what else could be so noisy?  I was so worried about your fat self being stuck in my chimney, (which explained the frantic attack on my chimney flue at such an ungodly hour), that I immediately called maintenance to help you.  The last thing I wanted was to prolong your terrifying experience. 

As you know, maintenance informed me that you were probably a squirrel that got trapped in the walls across the hall.  They opened some kind of holes for you and said that all we could do was wait and hope.  So, wait and hope I did.  Every day, I came home anxiously trying to NOT hear you.  But, every day, I could hear your little feet, probably blackened now with soot. 

In desperation, I opened the flue, offered water and peanut butter on crackers to you, and created a perfectly safe and private tunnel to the outside world.  I even put down a towel so you could wipe your little feet. 

I entreated you to choose life – to choose freedom.  I didn’t want you to slowly waste away with little sooty particles in your tiny nose and lungs. 

It’s been a week.  We’ve offered you so many outlets.  We’ve prayed.  We’ve hoped.  And still I hear you in there.

Mr. Squirroon, I don’t know what to do.  Are you really stuck?  Or are you just playing with my emotions?  Have you taken up house in MY house without my permission?  Can you really get out any time you please?  Are you bringing squirroon hussies into MY chimney?  My mind is reeling.  I don’t know whether to get super-serious about the peanut butter and water or to just let it go and let you be a squirroon man-whore in my chimney. 

If you are stuck, Godspeed.  If you are a whore, may God judge you and your fornicating ways.

Hodgepodgery

I fell down the stairs yesterday morning.  It was rainy and I was wearing heels.  I’m fine and it was actually pretty funny.  But I’m wondering when exactly I turned 90.

~

I miss my husband!  I hate that he’s been working overnight.  I’m just not myself.  My schedule’s all out of whack and I am staying up way too late and sleeping in weird places and at weird times.  And, I go to the grocery store at 11 pm.  Luckily, this is his last week! 

~

I think I might have a touch of hypochondria.   I’m afraid I have something wrong with me that I don’t know about (like Izzy on Grey’s Anatomy).  I’m tempted to schedule a physical, but then my mind reels with thoughts of needles and blood and I’m thinking that death might be easier! 

~

What do you think of Cadbury Creme Eggs?  It’s been my experience that people either love them or hate them.  It’s also been my experience that they’re getting more difficult to find.  You have to wade through millions of peeps before you find the Cadbury eggs hiding in the top corner of the Easter aisle.  Ridiculous.

~

While I stood in line at the grocery store last night, a familiar face and sad headline caught my attention.  Apparently a famous person who was supposedly very happily married was caught cheating with some other famous person.  (At least that’s the case according to the Hollywood gossip magazine.)  But, what stuck out to me was the text under the headline: “Her agony over marrying too young.”  As though that’s some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card!  Oh, poor baby… you chose to commit your life to someone else when you were young, so we should feel sorry for you, nod in approval at your throwing away your marriage, and excuse your unfaithfulness?  Oh.  I didn’t realize.  

~

Justin said I could take a Spanish class this summer!  But, I looked into the community college nearby and, while the class itself is only around $100, the total cost with all the fees will be closer to $300!  Boo.  That’s too much.  Any ideas?

~

My cat is pooping in the middle of the floor for no good reason.  There is no correlation whatsoever with how clean his litter box is.  I’ve even tried moving his box; it makes no difference.  And – he doesn’t always poop in the middle of the floor.  Sometimes, he goes in his box like he knows he should.  How do I make him stop?!

Christmas Shopping

I hate shopping.  I love giving gifts and I like getting new things; don’t get me wrong.  I just hate the entire process of shopping!  It’s just kind of stressful and irritating.  It doesn’t really matter what I’m shopping for or how much money I happen to have; I just generally do not find it in any way enjoyable.  And shopping during Christmastime is even worse.  I despise it. 

Some people are not like me.  Some woke up at 4 am on Black Friday to get that extra-early-bird special.  Some stood in long lines and fought over the last whatever-is-the-must-have-toy-this-year, threw hissy fits, rammed people with their carts, and verbally abused store personnel.  Some stole parking spots from people who had their blinkers on and had patiently waited for the previous occupant to vacate.  Like clockwork, millions of Americans went into psycho shopping mode.  They say it’s all worth it on Christmas morning.  Well, I slept in! 

 

I could go on for a while about how Jesus is the reason for the season, but we all know that.  I thought about writing that post.  I might yet.  But not today.  Today is about my Christmas shopping experience, which was way awesomer and way smarter than the previously described scenario.  Because, although I may shake my head in dismay about the commercialism that is the holiday season, I still have friends and family who expect presents.  That sounds bad, but you know it’s true.  You can’t just NOT give people Christmas gifts.  I had to go shopping.  There are just no two ways about it.

 

So, I spent a good bit of yesterday shopping.  My kitty and I browsed various stores, bargain shopped, and together decided on some perfect gifts.  At this point, I think you have figured out that I didn’t leave my house at all!  Cheers for online shopping!  Here’s why it’s awesome:

• I didn’t have to look nice at all.  I sat here with pop-tarts, crazy hair, glasses, and my sleepy clothes.  No one cared.  My cat didn’t seem to be bothered by my bad breath.  (Then again, maybe he was just being polite.)
• No gasoline was required!  That’s nice for my pocketbook and for the environment. 
• There were NO crowds.  I didn’t have to worry about spreading Christmas cheer even when I secretly wanted to ram my cart into the lady in front of me because it’s just so freaking crowded and I need to get by!  I just moused right up to the items I was interested in with no trouble at all.  I’m sure someone else was looking, too, but she certainly wasn’t in my way and I wasn’t in hers.  Happiness all around. 
• I didn’t have to haul bags up two flights of stairs.  The postman has to do all the work.  Haha.
• I saved a significant amount of time.  I could bargain shop, compare prices, and buy for very different people without having to haul myself from store to store. 
• There was really no “hunting” for the perfect gift.  Thank you, GOOGLE! 

And really one of the most compelling reasons for online shopping is that I could find a few gifts at this really awesome website.  The proceeds from my purchases went to feed starving people.  How awesome is that?!  God is cultivating in me a concern for the world beyond myself and this site was one very small way I could do just a little more.  If you have a place in your heart for feeding the hungry, for breast cancer research, for supporting healthy lifestyles for children, for promoting literacy, for saving the rainforest, or for rescuing animals, this would be a great place for you to browse for Christmas presents.  You can support whichever cause that tugs your heartstrings by clicking the appropriate tab at the top of the page.  I’ll even make it easier:

The Hunger Site
The Breast Cancer Site
The Child Health Site
The Literacy Site
The Rainforest Site
The Animal Rescue Site

Happy shopping!  (That’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one!)

Feline Antics

As you should know, I have the coolest cat ever.  He has always been a little peculiar and that’s what makes him so awesome.  Here are a few examples. 

First, he likes to play under clean sheets.  This is nothing new. 

Who disturbs me?!

 

He sometimes has blonde moments.  He can’t figure out how to escape from a laundry basket, even if his butt is completely out. 

I'll never get out!

 

He snuggles up to this lamp all the time, rubbing his face all over it.  It is pretty entertaining and I frequently quote Anchorman while he does this.  The reality, however, is that moths sneak into our apartment and hide in this lamp. 

I love lamp!

 

While we’re speaking of the moths that Spooky finds in the lamp, I must mention that my cat now eats the moths he finds!  He has NEVER done that before.  He used to just chase them and sometimes accidentally maim them.  But now, he starts licking his lips when he sees a moth flitting about!  I don’t have a picture of his predatory behavior because that would just be disrespectful to the moth.  But Justin’s very proud of this new development.  Spooky is finally (according to Justin) useful.

Bare Dreams

Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I curled up on the couch and watched tv.  Of course I eventually fell asleep and my cat joined me.  Now, Spooky can be a cuddler.  But, like many other very independent cats, it has to be totally on his own terms.  Usually it just involves his using my shin or my toes as a pillow at night (don’t ask me).  Every now and then, however, he really cuddles.  Last night was one of those nights.

As I faded in and out and the tv continued angling for my attention, I became aware that my cat was in the crook of my arm with his little kitty head nestled under my chin.  I sleepily stroked his ears as an infomercial tried to convince me that the ultimate makeup solution was Bare Minerals.   It sounded kind of interesting and expensive, but I was mostly concentrating on the rare affectionate moment my Spooky had bestowed upon me.  Careful not to disturb him, I closed my eyes and loved my kitty.

I woke up this morning distinctly remembering an unusual prayer that I submitted while Spooky and I were on the couch.  In a sleepy stupor, I repeatedly thanked Jesus for Bare Minerals because not only had it made Spooky want to cuddle, but it had also made his fur really soft.  It seemed like everything they were saying about the makeup was true; it really made him touchably soft.  

Later, I had an even stranger dream: I was checking in to a really run-down motel because I was on a road trip across the country.  Waiting for the cashier to process my transaction, I casually glanced around the lobby.  I noticed an unfortunate obese lady, wearing only chains around her neck and hands, who was being beaten by four men.  I immediately realized that she was about to be stoned.  “Well,” I thought to myself, “perhaps she should think about the consequences before committing adultery.”  I took the key from the cashier and resolutely turned on my heel and exited the lobby.

The Simple Life

Even in the midst of frustration, I’m always amazed at how sweet Jesus shows His goodness in the little things. 

Sushi.  I know; some of you are immediately cringing at the idea of letting raw fish come near your face.  Actually consuming it would be out of the question.  However, if you ever have the opportunity to try a California Roll for free, do it.  It’s probably the tamest sushi roll you could ever try because it’s super-Americanized and it has crab instead of fish.  Pin it between two chop sticks, smother it in soy sauce, and then savor the symphonic sensory overload.  De-frickin-licious.  Once you fall in love with that, try a Philadelphia Roll.  It has cream cheese!  (Get it?  Philadelphia cream cheese?  Eh?)  Anyway and it might have a little salmon, but give it a chance because I really believe Jesus invented sushi.

Feline cuteness.  Right now, my kitty is curled up on the ottoman.  He does this adorable little thing where he snuggles his paw around his head, tucking his ear under and poking his chin up so that his head is a little bit upside down.  I’ve tried on many occasions to capture this Kodak moment, but he always hears me get up and has to look and make sure everything’s okay.  So, I’ve always been unsuccessful…  Crap!  See?  I just tried it because I thought it would be awesome if I followed the ”unsuccessful” sentence with, “Until now!” and then posted a picture.  But, he looked up and now he’s not sleeping so cutely.       

Sex and the City on regular cable.  I always thought the show was from the pit of hell because it was about a bunch of four swanky skanks celebrating their whoredom.  Well, it is kinda.  But, on cable, it’s really toned down.  I really don’t like how they sleep around as though uniting themselves with multiple men is no big deal, but I try to ignore that.  Instead, I listen to the funny dialog and laugh at the goofy scenarios.  Carrie cracks me up and inspires me to write.  Charlotte, in all her romantic fluffiness, is totally me.  Miranda is psychotic and makes me thankful I’m not like her.  And Samantha is, well, the reason I feel guilty watching the show.  Please don’t say I’m going to hell for this one.  Because that’s just bad theology.

Bird feeders.  This is very simple, but I’ve never had one before.  My parents had a million in their backyard when I was a teenager, but I thought anything they did was <sigh> so lame.  So it wasn’t until we moved here and I became very jealous of the lady who lives below us and all her birdfeeders.  THAT was until last weekend when my MIL bought me a bird feeder and some seed!  It’s so awesome to sit and watch all the little birdies be happy because we are taking care of them.  And my cat is so stoked he’s acting like he’s on crack; so that’s pretty entertaining, too!  Win-win-win!  Yay for feeding the birdies.