If God Were Real …from my journal

November 28, 2009

I’m reading a new book, If God Were Real by John Avant.  It’s not deeply philosophical or theological, and it’s a pretty easy read.  I was actually slightly hesitant about it, because I think a lot of “Christian” books are a load of crap mass-marketed to pay for someone’s posh lifestyle… [But this book] was written by a pastor who has witnessed a deep sickness in the American church.  His premise is very obvious from his title — if God were real, or if we really believed he were real, our lives and our churches would be radically different.  It’s not that profound, really; it’s completely obvious.  But, he’s saying the types of things about the institution of Christianity that Jesus said about the Pharisees and priests.  They didn’t want to hear it then, and no one wants to hear it now.  He’s asking all the right questions — salvation-issue questions — but does it matter?  Will American “Christians” listen?  Will I listen?  What can I do to really be different?  What am I doing?  I want desperately to not waste my life.  I want to be a radical follower of Jesus.  But, what does that even look like in postmodern America?  I guess I’m currently on this quest to be a true follower.  Not a “good” Christian or an “upstanding” citizen, but a sold-out, I don’t care if I lose my job or home over it, eternal-perspective-seeing, desperately-loving follower of Jesus of Nazareth.  I mean, shouldn’t true believers be a little subversive?  Shouldn’t we be dangerous?  Peter and Paul were dangerous, and I don’t think their cultural setting is much different from ours.  We’re too comfortable.  The tragic thing is, the road to hell is a joyful, comfortable one.  My level of comfort is causing me to question my sincerity and my level of usefulness.  I want desperately to be useful.  I don’t want to live and die for a country, for a religious institution, for a way of life.  I want to live and die for the Creator, Savior, and Sustainer.  Anything less is a waste of my soul.  Oh, Father, teach me!

~Maranatha

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Yeshua’s Early Ministry …from my journal

October 24, 2009

John 1:35-42 (Andrew and Simon Peter)
–I know it’s overused as an illustration, but I love Andrew and Peter’s obedience.  And Andrew’s immediate response was to bring his brother to Christ.  Why am I not so obedient?

John 1:43-51 (Philip and Nathanael)
–I think it’s beautiful that, even though Jesus’ time had not yet come, He’s revealing His divinity in personal ways, and then He promises greater things.

John 2:1-12 (Miracle at Cana)
–I’ve never thought of this miracle in this way before, but I wonder if anyone uses it as proof that Christ cares about ordinary, earthly things.  I mean, the argument could be made that a wedding feast running out of wine has no eternal — or even lasting earthly — implications.  But, Jesus was sensitive to the needs, priorities, and feelings of the people at the moment, and fulfilled their immediate desire as a gesture of love.  That could be.  However, I’m struck by the underlying messages here.  He had servants fill giant jugs full of water and serve it to the headwaiter.  As the unsuspecting man scurried off to praise the groom for his generosity in serving the best wine, the lowly servants were undoubtedly left totally dumbstruck.  While “saving the day” out of the kindness of His heart may have been a byproduct of this miracle, I don’t believe it could be His primary focus.  Of course, He was displaying His deity first and foremost.  But He also seems to be setting the tone for His entire ministry, in which He will choose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise — in which He will reveal hidden things to the lowly and keep them from the rich and powerful.  How sneaky!  (In a good, thought-provoking way.)

John 2:13-25 (Moneychangers in the Temple)
–I love this.  I love it because it shows Yeshua angry — really angry.  He was so angry, He got physical.  He made a whip!  I mean, this wasn’t just a sudden burst of rage in which He “lost His head” and threw a fit.  I wonder how long it takes to make a whip out of cords.  There’s probably braiding, cutting, and tying involved.  He had time for His blood pressure to go down, as He had to focus His fine motor skills to fashion a weapon.  So, this wasn’t just an impulsive temper tantrum — He, as Holy God, was personally offended that these religious persons would turn a sacred place of worship into a money-making business center.  I think this event teaches us two things: God does not overlook the things we overlook, and God is not “understanding” of our selfish belittlement of His holiness.  God is fierce.

John 4:46-54 (Boy in Capernaum Healed)
–The reason for everything is that God would receive glory, and that some might be saved.

~Maranatha

Desperation …from my journal

October 11, 2009

Then Ezra the priest brought the law before the assembly of men, women, and all who could listen with understanding…and all the people were attentive to the book of the law.

…And Ezra opened the book in the sight of all the people…and when he opened it, all the people stood up.  Then Ezra blessed the LORD the great God.  And all the people answered, “Amen, Amen!” while lifting up their hands; then they bowed low and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground.

…Then Nehemiah…and Ezra…and the Levites…said to all the people, “This day is holy to the LORD your God; do not mourn or weep.”  For all the people were weeping when they heard the words of the law.
(excerpted from Nehemiah 8:2-9)

I am struck by the pure worship and utter respect these people responded with when hearing the words of the law.  They didn’t even have the whole story, yet they were moved to worship and contrition by hearing the law.  The parts of Scripture we often skim because they’re confusing, redundant, and no longer applicable.  Those words were so holy, so precious, that they fell on their faces and sobbed at their contrasting sinfulness.  Where is that kind of humility today?  That kind of awe and respect when God’s word is read?  Sure, the leaders urged the people to rejoice in the God who was their strength, but the mourning, fasting, and confessing had its place, too (ch. 9).  How arrogant we are!  How flippant with God’s grace!  With such a sense of entitlement do we proceed through our lives!  Sometimes I fear that we try to do “just enough” to fool God into thinking we actually love Him.  In the end, it is not He who will be shown a fool.  Oh, to truly, desperately love You!

~Maranatha

The Generation to Come …from my journal

September 30, 2009

Psalm 78:1-7

Listen, O my people, to my instruction; incline your ears to the words of my mouth.  I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us.  We will not conceal them from their children, but tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done.  For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.

I love this passage.  I love the generational charge to teach new generations the secret, holy things.  I take that very seriously, and I am already praying for __________ and _________, or whatever children God gives me.  I pray that they would have a hunger and thirst for the Holy One.  I pray for a profound dissatisfaction with this world.  I pray that my children will be vital parts of His kingdom.  And I pray that God would grant Justin and me wisdom as we prepare to one day raise up these great warriors.  Having a family is not something I view as just “the next step,” or “the thing to do.”  Just as I was intentional about marriage, I am intentional about family.  My children should be workers in God’s field.  It is my plea that their souls not be wasted.

~Maranatha

Re-Knitting

I was kept awake a couple of nights ago by strange thoughts/images concerning the logistics of the resurrection.  (Not Christ’s, ours.)  What triggered my thinking about it was a post on John Piper’s blog.  He said several very good things in a list, but two things really gave me pause.  While neither thing was unfamiliar, both caused me to think in ways I hadn’t before.

The first was about how everyone will be raised.  What got my attention was his mentioning specific people, such as Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy, and Marilyn Monroe.  It was just strange to think of it that way — to imagine specific, famous people being put on a level playing field with the rest of us and floating up to the Judge.  Second, Piper highlighted how the resurrection of all humankind will happen in an instant — at the sound of His voice.  That got me thinking about the concrete logistics of it all.

Resurrection — at His word.  In the flesh.  He just speaks, and everyone is knit together again.  Do we feel it?  We didn’t notice in our mothers’ wombs, or as we grew during childhood, but it was so very slow back then – so very subtle.

This time, however, we’re changed quickly; so do we feel our muscles, tendons, and skin coming together again?  Are we startled by the old, familiar sensation of blood — warm and vibrant — flowing again through our suddenly restored veins?

What’s more, prior to being caught up in the air with Him, are we aware of our physical location(s) as we’re being re-knit?  In a casket, with damp, rotten satin, do we feel our bodies being rebuilt, like the mummies in those movies, and then remain for a fraction of a moment in the dark, smelly box?

And how does Christ retrieve us?  Does He peel back layers of soil, lift the rusty casket lid, and then elevate us?  Or is that unnecessary because of His awesome, aggregate teleportation skills?

And don’t even get me started on people who were cremated or consumed by animals.  Matter is neither created nor destroyed, so all those people — millions of years worth of dead homo sapiens sapiens — are part of the earth!  And God is going to put us all back together again!  Now that is a serious jigsaw puzzle, like the kind that is deliberately made to make you go insane with layers and layers of fat cherub faces and golden wings that could belong to any of the stupid, little, wingy babies.  Ugh I hate those.

Mostly, though, I couldn’t sleep that night because I couldn’t stop wondering what we will feel during resurrection.  Ecstasy, anticipation, humiliation — sure.  But physical, physiological sensations?  I’m utterly fascinated.

Positive Self-Talk …from my journal

September 13, 2009

“Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and my advocate is on high.” ~Job 16:19

I’ve already chosen my verse for this week, which I will share soon, but this would be a great one.  I love how Job knows deep within his heart about Christ, even before His appearing.  And Job reminds me some of David:

“Why are you in despair, O my soul?  And why have you become disturbed within me?  Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” ~Psalm 42:11

I think it’s an incredible encouragement to see the struggles of these faithful men of God.  They are deep in the valley, being buffeted and bruised by God’s testing.  They are feeling hopelessness, as any man would.  They are crying out, but God is choosing to remain silent.  So these men must rely on what they know, even if they can’t see it or feel it in their present darkness.  It’s positive self-talk, if you will.  Their hearts and souls are in the depths of despair, so they encourage themselves with truths of God’s goodness and faithfulness.  And this is one of the reasons I want to memorize scripture.  Up this week, as a reminder of what’s truly important:

And [Job] said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there.  The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the LORD.” ~Job 1:21

Maranatha

And We are All Watchmen – from my journal

September 6, 2009

“Son of man, speak to the sons of your people, and say to them, ‘If I bring a sword upon a land, and the people of the land take one man from among them and make him their watchman; and he sees the sword coming upon the land, and he blows on the trumpet and warns the people, then he who hears the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning, and a sword comes and takes him away, his blood will be on his own head.  He heard the sound of the trumpet, but did not take warning; his blood will be on himself.  But had he taken warning, he would have delivered his life.  But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, and the people are not warned, and a sword comes and takes a person from them, he is taken away in his iniquity, but his blood I will require from the watchman’s hand.’

“Now as for you, son of man, I have appointed you a watchman for the house of Israel; so you will hear a message from my mouth, and give them warning from me.  When I say to the wicked, ‘Oh wicked man, you shall surely die,’ and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require from your hand.  But if you on your part warn a wicked man to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, he will die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your life.”

~Ezekiel 33:1-9

I find this passage to be very convicting!  While I realize this was a specific charge to a certain man in a distinct time and place, I also can see how applicable it is to believers today.  We are charged with a mission directly from Jesus’ lips, and I can’t imagine not being held accountable.  This passage from Ezekiel reminds me of my own disobedience.

~Maranatha

Such a Slow Learner

FROM AN OLD JOURNAL:

8-16-07

PHILIPPIANS 2:12

What does it mean to work out your salvation with fear and trembling?  It seems that it’s not an easy thing, or there wouldn’t be fear and trembling!  I’m becoming more and more convinced that while we can do nothing in ourselves to become saved, it probably isn’t as easy a deal as people try to make it.  The “repeat after me” prayer probably doesn’t often cut it.  It’s weird… it’s nothing we can work for or earn, so the message is that it’s easy and all you have to do is believe.  But, even the demons believe – they’re certainly not saved!  And many who think they’re saved will be turned away in the day of judgement.  And the path is narrow and few find it.  And God endured vessels prepared for destruction for His glory.  It seems to me that the predestination camp is really on to something AND that we aren’t even close to having anything figured out.  Perhaps salvation isn’t simple at all if Paul tells us to work it out in fear and trembling.  None of that sounds easy, or highly enjoyable, and it’s really frustratingly imprecise.  Work it out how?  What’s to work out?  I thought we weren’t saved as a result of anything we’ve done.  Perhaps it just means to try and understand or appreciate it.  I don’t know.  But fear and trembling don’t sound pleasant.  In my estimation, however, we really do need a healthy dose of terror when thinking of the Lord and His power.  The Church plays the “God is love” card too often and fails to explain love or what else God is.  God is really terrifying.

Maranatha

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10-3-07

“Leave vain things to vain people, and give your attention to those things that God asks of you.  Go into your room, shut your door, and call upon Jesus, your Beloved.  Stay with Him in the privacy of your own room, for you will not find such peace anywhere else.”  ~Thomas à Kempis

Maranatha

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8-26-08

“Doesn’t his majesty terrify you?  Doesn’t your fear of him overwhelm you?”   ~Job 13:11

Maranatha

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11-29-08

PSALM 119:136 (NLT)

“Rivers of tears gush from my eyes because people disobey your instructions.”

Why don’t I feel that deeply for others?  Why am I so self-absorbed?

Help me, Yeshua.

Maranatha

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12-27-08

I see the verse I copied a month ago and it still rings untrue.  However, I do feel that the Spirit is leading me more outside myself.  Between Voice of the Martyrs, my refugee kids at [school], Under the Overpass, and repeated truths from His Word, I’m becoming more disgusted with myself and more concerned about those without.  I really want to learn Spanish and head south.  I want to get out of America and have to rely solely on Him.  I want to see how others live instead of just hearing about it.  I want to really make a difference.  Yeshua, guide my steps.  Send me.  Make me willing.

Maranatha

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I know it may seem disjointed to someone who is not in my head.  However, all of it ties together quite terribly for me and God: I don’t take Him or His message seriously.  If I did, my life would be much different.  I fear I am no closer to true discipleship or true service than I was in the above entries.

In future posts, I plan to expound on my thoughts and convictions.  This is meant to be an introduction to some things I’ve been trying desperately to ignore.