Love/Hate Relationship
Posted by Vanity of Vanities! on December 29, 2008
I love them. They usually love me. But, sometimes, they make me cry. I really thought we had gotten past all of this nonsense. They haven’t made me cry in months… nay, years! But, today, I felt the hot, stinging tears welling up in my eyes and I knew I had lost today’s battle.
It was a battle against an onion.
You see, I am trying a new chili recipe (I’ll share it if I love it) and it called for chopped onions. Right-o! I love onions. And, since I had previously learned an excellent method for staying the tears, I had no qualms about chopping.
Here’s the method: chew gum while you chop. I have never had any idea why this worked, but it did. As soon as I began using this method, onion tears became a thing of the past! I keep gum in my pantry for whenever I need to chop.
Today, as mentioned above, was a different story. My gum failed me. I cried. It’s been an hour since I chopped, the onions are mixed with other yummies and safely tucked away in my crockpot, and my eyes are still stinging. What happened?
I scoured the internet and found lots of interesting information. I came to the conclusion that it didn’t work this time because my husband had already chopped some of the onion two days ago for a chicken cordon bleu recipe. That gave the noxious fumes time to rally their forces against me and my knife. I don’t know if it’s true, but it could be.
Do you have onion-cutting woes? Here are a few tips I’ve found on the internet.
- Chew gum. I still think it works. It has to do with the extra saliva produced so that the fumes will react with that water instead of the water in your eyes. Weird, but I don’t care. It has had about a 99% success rate in my kitchen.
- Have running water nearby. This works on the same principle, but I haven’t tried it. I will definitely not try it, because it’s a total waste of water! There are people DYING out there because they don’t have water! Don’t be a jerk.
- Have an open flame nearby. I haven’t tried it and I have no idea why it would work.
- Wear goggles. Now if that isn’t sexy, I don’t know what is. You can buy some goggles here. Let me know if they’re awesome.
- Freeze your onion before chopping. This was my previous method. It works. But, it makes for a soggy onion.
- Chop underwater. I’ll remember this next time I go SCUBA diving.
- Chop strategically. I have never really known how to efficiently chop an onion. Here’s a great post I found and I will use her method next time, in conjunction with the gum!
Anyway, my eyes are still burning. 
Shawn W said
Make sure your knife is very sharp. A dull knife crushes the onion and sprays the juice into the air, and onion juice in the air will make you cry.
Vanity of Vanities! said
Yeah, I sharpened it right before chopping, just to be sure. Didn’t help.
katdish said
I can usually cajole my husband into chopping them by doing a very bad job. (I know, you should probably pray for me if you’re not already.) When that doesn’t work, I keep a package of pre-chopped onions from the grocery store in the freezer. They’re about a dollar a bag and they’re great if you’re pressed for time.
I think the pink onion goggles would look fab on you, btw.
Vanity of Vanities! said
Oh yeah… I definitely would choose the pink goggles!
MM said
I’ve heard that it isn’t actually your eyes so much, but your nose. If you can’t smell because of allergies or a cold, then it won’t bother you so much either. Maybe a swimmer’s nose plug next time? See if that works.
The way I deal? A $10 food chopper from Wal-Mart. Seriously. I’ve had mine for about a decade now and it still works like a charm. Takes less time, less clean up, no tears. Chew gum if you want to.
Vanity of Vanities! said
I read it was the gases the onion releases reacting with the water in your eyes and producing an acid. Several sites said the same thing. I don’t know.
Amanda said
According to “Food Detectives” episode #2 on Food Network, the best method for preventing the gas reaction while chopping an onion is to put it in the fridge for an hour prior to chopping. Your onion won’t be mushy like it is when you freeze it.
This method is what I’ve always done, because I typically don’t keep my onions anywhere but in the fridge anyway (we don’t eat them often, per my “Peppers & Onions” post). I rarely ever tear up while chopping onions — it has to be a very powerful onion to get me the least bit teary.
Vanity of Vanities! said
That does not work for me because I ALWAYS have the onion in the fridge. As soon as it gets to my house, it goes in there. So, that has never helped me.
Amanda said
Well, that stinks. I guess you’ll have to buy those goggles and look oh so appealing to Justin.
Jay said
Wearing contact lenses eliminates weepy onion eye!
Vanity of Vanities! said
Actually, I wear contacts and they do not help at all! It’s the gum. Usually, the gum works.